How open are you to being happy?
Recently, a client uncovered a deeply held belief during our session. She said, “If I’m happy, something bad will happen, and I’ll be punished.” As we unpacked this misunderstanding, we laughed as I let her know that bad things (and good things) happen whether she’s happy or not. 🤣💜😂
Do you see that belief in yourself? It’s surprisingly common for people to feel anxious when good things happen. Sometimes it’s because they grew up in a family where success was met with resentment. 🙄 Maybe they were taught that when something good happens, something bad will happen next. Or, that living with the fear of bad things happening will keep them safe.
Your experiences, especially in childhood, created unconscious patterns that filter how you interpret life’s events. 👪🗝️ And let’s face it: not all of these patterns are helpful.
Some patterns can lead to misunderstandings of what you want as an adult. You may chase after _________ because you’re convinced it will make you happy. Once you get it, it’s common to find it lifts your spirits for a bit, 👼🏽 then the feeling wanes because it’s not sustainable. ☔ And the cycle continues, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and fatigue.
What you resist persists, and running from the pain will never heal it. If we avoid hard topics, pretending “everything’s fine” and deny ourselves the opportunity to release the burdens we carry, that is NOT freedom, and will not bring you the happiness you deserve. 🙊🙈
Those shitty feelings will be there until you face and transform them. Doing your work is how you heal and grow.
The best way to alleviate chasing happiness is to embrace your struggles with love and understanding. Bear witness to your thoughts, feelings and actions while accepting what life has offered you, without any judgments of making it wrong. 💓🌈🧚🏽♀️
Then, strengthen your connection to Spirit, life-force energy, and your higher self. This allows you to increase your ability to face your life exactly as it is and to keep your heart open to the experience. 💜
Connection comes from being a part of something bigger than yourself. This inspired action doesn’t have to feel urgent or life-altering. In fact, the warmth and excitement might feel like a garden of gratitude that lifts your heart when you see it.
So, grab your journal and finish this sentence, “I believe that if I’m happy …“
How do you finish that sentence? Lean into your thoughts and feelings on happiness. Why? Connecting with your innermost thoughts and feelings will bring greater intimacy with yourself. 🐣 THAT is the connection you’re yearning for, and is the heart of happiness and peace. If you’re continuously waiting for the other shoe to drop, you’ll likely find you’re connecting more with fear than with happiness.
It’s important to acknowledge and meet those very real places of pain (fear, anger, jealousy, shutting down, feelings of abandonment and rejection, etc.). 🤕 And that takes courage… 🦸🏽 Whenever you’re triggered, these core issues are coming up to be healed.
It’s not just you. There’s a lot of pain and struggle coming up for the world to heal, too. That’s why it’s essential to see, taste, touch, and name the places of pain and struggle. In truth, nobody is immune to stress or difficult experiences. For myself, some of the darkest times in my life have ultimately brought me my greatest growth. The question is how you interpret those things that bring you happiness or unhappiness. 🌻🌎🍁
After my 9-day-old daughter Amy died, I remember people telling me I needed to “move on.” 🌌 As if I needed to forget about the experience of having a daughter who died. These same people didn’t understand the power of feeling my feelings and the need for me to accept them in order to make peace with my past so I could have peace in my life today.
In her article, “You Have to Feel it to Heal It: The Only Way Out is Through,” Hailey Magee shares her story of when she reached out to a trusted friend for advice:
Life happens whether you understand it or not and whether you like it or not. It’s ALL part of your journey.
“For the first time in my grieving process, I wasn’t told to gloss over my feelings with a coat of rose-colored paint. Someone I trusted was encouraging me to feel my pain in its entirety. Through her eyes, my pain was valid and productive—a necessary step on my journey toward healing. Her direct acknowledgement of my suffering was the permission I needed to truly feel my pain instead of avoid it.”
When you cultivate awareness, you connect with your higher self 👼 and it feels amazing. Awareness helps you see when and why you’re being triggered, and that’s where healing begins.
Releasing patterns and misunderstandings that were never true helps raise your vibrational frequency. Your life begins to feel lighter, and you feel freer than you ever thought possible. 🌟💓☀️
Take a few deep breaths as you focus on breathing in love into every cell of your body. 🌬️🧬 With each exhale, connect with the intention of letting go of any and all non-beneficial energies and pain in your life. The more you focus on love, the more it expands, bringing you inner peace and satisfaction no matter what’s going on around you.
Give yourself permission to enjoy your life with gentleness and ease.
As the late poet and philosopher John O’Donohue wrote, “There is nothing more beautiful to put on the table of your mind than to feast on your own life.”
You are pure love and I’m grateful and honored to support you. Your life is a gift to all (whether others realize it or not).
And, as always, you deserve more love, not less. Thanks for making space for me in your inbox and for letting me be a part of that. 🤗❤️🥰