Be honest, can you be happy in your life right now, even if nothing (and no one) changes?
Or do you have a laundry list of things that need to be different first?
Like you’ll be happy when… your kids hit the next milestone, you get to go on vacation by yourself, or you tell your boss to shove it.
Maybe it’s when you find the “right” relationship, get a raise, or pick up the next hobby (even though there’s a graveyard of past projects already taking up space in your closet).
Perhaps you’ve done some inner work, so to you happiness will come when you’ve learned to set stronger boundaries or finally tell your mom off for the times she chose men over you growing up.
Either way, happiness feels just out of reach.
But that’s a lie.
It’s a distraction from the real work, a way to manipulate you into buying shit you don’t need, into trying to lose those last 5 pounds forever, into giving your power away.
Let’s be honest, if all of that could be your answer and make you happy, wouldn’t it have worked by now???
Happiness doesn’t come from outside of you
You won’t find it in the job, the relationship, the all-expenses-paid-for trip to New Zealand, the romance novel, the wardrobe update, or the kitchen remodel you’ve wanted for decades.
It’s not that you can’t visit Hobbiton, get married, or decide to only wear all natural fibers. You can.
But it won’t make you happy—at least not sustainably.
Eventually, you’ll come down off the high from transforming your 1980’s cabinets and need something else to fill that void. From granite countertops to career changes, raising kids to actively fighting the patriarchy, you can spend a lifetime endlessly searching for happiness and still never find it.
Because happiness comes from within.
(And please know, as someone whose daughter died in her arms at 9 days old, I’m not saying that from a place of plastic smiles, shoving down your feelings, and pretending the room you’re in isn’t on fire.)
Happiness comes from doing your work to heal the past.
It comes from raising your consciousness, giving yourself permission to feel ALL your feelings, and bringing yourself the Love and compassion you always deserved (but didn’t always get).
Wait, why do we have to talk about the past???
Because, whether you’re aware of it or not, what you learned in the past (as a child and in past lives*) is the same shit you’re playing out in your current relationships, at work, or in line at the grocery store.
Your past is kicking your booty and rather than facing it, you’ve been taught to run away, to deny your feelings, to shut down or freeze, to blame the world and other people for your problems, and to pretend you’re fine.
How’s that working out for you??
And look, I’m NOT saying you should endlessly talk about the past, stew in the pain, and get stuck rehashing old shit over and over again until everyone around you (including your therapist) wants to buy ear plugs.
I AM saying that you DON’T have to get caught up in the pain forever. There IS another way.
When you do your work to process the past (which is a fancy way to say face it, feel it, and energetically let it go), you get to keep the lessons and let go of the pain and struggle. You get to be free.
That’s the sweetest way I’ve found to live and I LOVE getting to help others experience it too.
*No one cares if you believe in past lives or not. They’re just stories (and not necessarily even good ones). Consider them the patterns you came into this world with that, when released, can massively improve your life.
So, what is ‘Doing Your Work’?
DOING YOUR WORK: The process of watching how you respond to whatever’s going on around you and using that information to dig in and heal the misunderstandings, traumas, and held emotions from your past that are stuck in your body causing the triggers so you can finally, finally, FINALLY be free.
It’s taking personal responsibility for your feelings, giving yourself space to fully feel them (yes, ALL of them), and processing the past pain causing those triggers.
In other words, when something happens (no matter what it is), if you’re not neutral, present, and open-hearted—i.e. if you feel like you’re crawling out of your skin, you’re pissed, depressed, or anxious—you’re being shown what’s coming up for YOU to heal.
You could blame the other person or circumstances, wait for them to change, quit your job, eat your weight in ice cream, get divorced, or take up knitting to distract yourself from whatever the trigger is.
And none of that is wrong.
But it won’t make that “thing” inside you (the one causing all those feelings) go away.
Until you clear the blocks, you’ll just repeat the same patterns over and over again whether it’s with a new partner, at a different job, in a book club, or inside your own mind.
Doing your work stops that spin. It empowers you to change your life. It even quiets the monkey mind.
How? By showing you what you’re doing—and why—in Truth, so that if you like what you’re doing, you can keep doing it, and if not, you can try something new.
Doing your work is THE most practical thing you can do for yourself
Some people call this work woo woo. I call it practical. Because, on the other side of facing and processing past pain, I’ve helped people:
Earn more money because they’re not afraid to speak up and ask for what they deserve
Heal chronic pain no massage or chiropractic adjustment could touch
Have better, more intimate, real relationships with their spouses, parents, children, bosses, etc.
Feel less anxious, depressed, or like they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and have more energy and vitality
Give up addictions
Stop living with crippling fear (of snakes, bugs, birds, getting in a car, flying, or driving over bridges)
Embrace and Love themselves at such a deep, profound level they stopped buying shit they didn’t need, giving their power away to relationships, and/or feeling like an outsider in every room
Speak up for themselves, stop people pleasing, set stronger boundaries, and have their own back (whether that was with an asshole boss, their parents, a partner, etc)
And more!
And while I can’t guarantee your results will look the exact same, when you do your work to elevate your consciousness, you no longer have to keep playing out the pain, the suffering, the bullshit you don’t even know you’re stuck in.
Why doesn’t everyone do their work?
Because your ego doesn’t want you to do this work.
Your ego wants to keep you safe, but it has shit consciousness so it thinks staying safe means staying stuck and NEVER changing.
It’ll do ANYTHING to keep you from facing the pain from your past even though that’s the ONLY way to get to the freedom, Love, joy, and connection you say you want.
To your ego, a soggy cracker is better than no cracker.
That’s why you can get caught up in any number of distractions (relationships, jobs, vacations, audiobooks). It’s why you’ll come up with a bajillion and one excuses (money, time, “I don’t think this’ll work for me,”). And it’s why you keep finding new and interesting ways to play out the same, worn out patterns as if they’re somehow different every time.
Because if those things don’t take you to the core, you never have to face the real pain.
But if you’re here, I’m willing to bet it’s because you recognize that you don’t need another course teaching you how to make money online or to lose those last 5 pounds. You know you need to try something different.
Whether you fully understand it or not, you’re being called to clear the blocks connecting you with the Highest Enlightened Awareness of your Soul (the part of you who knows your magnificence).
That’s what this work does, if you’re courageous enough to lean in and face the pain.
95% of everything you do is subconscious and unconscious, which means that you aren’t even aware of why you do most of the things you do—even when you think you are.
That’s what makes doing your work so challenging: because misunderstandings, held emotions, traumas, and BS lies you don’t even know are there are stuck in your body impacting you on the daily.
And you can’t think your way out of them.
Doing your work goes beyond mental understanding. It doesn’t fit the intellectual mold you’ve been spoon fed about how to change your life. It’s not “3 easy steps to never struggle again” or “follow this proven path to never feel uncomfortable.”
It’s (likely) different from anything you’ve ever done before, which makes it all the more uncomfortable. And it requires you to feel your feelings (yes, even the ones you’ve been running from since 1999).
Thankfully, comfort and happiness are NOT the same thing. And this work works whether you understand it or not.
This isn’t your granny’s talk therapy
You’re not stuck in the pain
People with the highest IQs often have the hardest time doing their work because they already have their answers.
They think they’re self-aware, that they love themselves, that they just have to live with pain/anxiety/depression/etc, that happiness will come from the next relationship, job, vacation, or haircut—even though none of that’s ever worked before.
They think that other people are the problem or that if only the world changed things would finally be different (without recognizing they’re the ones repeating the same patterns over and over again even when things do change).
They’re convinced this work isn’t for them, that it’s too woo woo, or that their pain isn’t like other people’s.
But none of that is true.
When you’re willing to let go of what you think you know, to stop letting your ego drive the bus, you have NO IDEA where this work can take you. It’s beyond your wildest imagination.
Because it’ll be a life beyond the filters, patterns, habits, misunderstandings, traumas, held emotions, stories, and BS lies you don’t even know you’re living in right now.
This work is for the old Souls
It’s for the people who run circles around their therapist, but who actually wanna find relief instead.
For those who recognize they’re replaying the same patterns over and over—even when the relationship, job, or country they’re in changes.
It’s for anyone in enough pain (mentally, emotionally, or physically) that they don’t know where else to turn, who’ve exhausted all other options, and who are finally willing to say, “Fuck it,” and try this on.
I joke about how glamorous doing your work is, but really it’s for the people who aren’t afraid of facing their feelings (from rage to grief, disappointment to shame, and everything in between) because they know on the other side of processing these stuck emotions, they’re going to feel better.
And it’s for you if…
You’ve done everything you can think of to find relief but you’re still in pain
You’re sick of pretending to be happy or wondering what everyone else knows that you don’t
You’re willing to do the thing everyone else thinks is crazy—so long as it works
You’d like to learn how to listen to yourself through all the noise and how to trust yourself even though you’ve been taught to discount your feelings your whole dang life
You know there has to be more to life than all the potential careers you’ve tried on, all the relationships you’ve played out, and all the money you earned
You’re not afraid to feel your feelings (or you’re willing to face them with support)
You’re ready to stop kicking the can of pain down the road to deal with another day and finally face it
Really, it’s not for the faint of heart
Or the people who want a quick fix, magic pill, or easy button. It’s not for anyone unwilling to roll up their sleeves and dive in.
If you want to be the victim or to wait around for everyone and everything else to change so you don’t have to, this isn’t the work for you either.
And you’re not going to want to do your work with me if…
You want me to be your answer. I’m not. And I refuse to take your power away.
You’d rather avoid your feelings, blame everyone else for the pain, and wait around for them to go to therapy so you can finally be happy.
You refuse to take personal responsibility for your own happiness.
You’re still convinced you can figure it out on your own and don’t need help.
You’re not willing to get uncomfortable.
You’re not willing to have fun and laugh at how ridiculous we all are in our humanity.
...At least not YET.
I’ll be here when you’re ready.
If all that sounds like something you’re into…
here’s how we can work together:
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