Doing Your Work Isn’t a Cookie-Cutter Path, It’s Incredibly Nuanced

Doing your work is not about finding a cookie-cutter path everyone can follow to get the same results (more on this next week).

Because what YOU need to lean into is based on YOUR past, what YOU experienced, and what YOU’VE stored in your body as a misunderstanding, trauma, held emotion, or bs story (whether you know it’s there or not).

Your journey is unique and nuanced.

That’s what makes doing your work with me so powerful: I’m not here to tell you what you “have” to do, I’m here to create the best environment to clear up whatever’s blocking you from more Love.

(Meaning, I’m holding space energetically for you to feel safe to dig into the feelings, finally feel them, and to process them so they’re no longer stuck driving your bus or, you know, ruining your life.)

That said, even without me, there are ways you can start getting more honest with yourself about what you’re playing out. 

And as I always say, if you like what you’re doing, keep doing it. If not, now’s the perfect time to make a change. But you can’t change if you don’t even see what you’re doing.

So in the spirit of that awareness, here’s a free exercise you can do right now to support your healing journey:

Step 1: Make a list of everything you wish was different about your life

Get really specific here. Write down the things you think will make you happy, the people you wish were different, the money you want to make. The things that annoy you, make you cry, or leave you crawling out of your skin.

Take stock of all the different areas of your life: relationships, career, health, self-care, fun, finances, how you spend your time, your stuff, spirituality and personal growth, etc.

For example: I want to make $X per month. I want my mom to stop criticizing all my choices.

Don’t go on to step 2 until this feels complete (even if it takes a couple days).

Step 2: Grab your list and some different colored pens.

First, imagine you from 5 years ago, 10 years ago, or a specific age you clearly remember (grab a photo of you then if it would help). With your list in hand and this version of you in mind, cross off anything that the past version of you wanted but didn’t have or would’ve killed to create.

So, if you want to make a certain amount of money, but the amount you make now is what that version of you dreamed of earning, cross it off. If you want to lose weight, but the past version of you was that weight (and she still wanted to lose more), cross that item off, too.

Do this for the whole list.

Next, cross off everything on the list that you can’t control. So if it requires your mom or your boss or your spouse to be different than they are, cross it off. Things like, “I’ll be happy when my coworkers start doing their work” or “if only he treated me better” all need to go.

Step 3: Finally, look at what’s left and ask yourself what’s stopping you from making it happen

We’re not blaming or shaming you. We’re getting really, really honest about what you’re playing out, what you think you want, and why you can’t be happy unless you have it.

Is it really that someone else needs to change or you have to make $X? Or are you giving your power away to some fantasy that feeds your comfort zone?

Have you really tried all possible options to get that thing or do you already have your answer that you’re not worthy so you shouldn’t even try?

Will having that thing really make you happy or is it something you’ll look back on in 10 years having moved the bar on what you need once again?

Take stock of everything on your list with curiosity and an open heart. We’re just going for awareness.

When you don’t acknowledge the shit is there (i.e. awareness), you can’t clean it up. When you don’t clean it up, you’re living in it.

But you NEVER have to stay stuck.