What Can You Do When You're Triggered? 😫

Let’s say your mother-in-law comes for a visit... 

...And the entire time she’s there, she criticizes everything about your house, cooking, and the way you parent your children. 

How does that make you feel? 

Like you can’t wait to invite her for another trip? Like you’re an inch tall and can’t stand up to your 3rd-grade bully? Or like you need to call up everyone in your life to bitch about her and the way she rearranged your furniture? 

Either way, if you’re not neutral (meaning you look at the experience and don’t feel any charged emotions whatsoever), it means you’re triggered. 

And when you’re triggered, that means something’s coming up for you to heal.

What can you do when you’re triggered? (Meaning, when you’re spiraling in anxiety, frozen in fear, overwhelmed, lying to yourself about how you really feel, feeling abandoned and rejected, or so depressed you can barely get out of bed.)

1. Feel your feelings—even if it means excusing yourself from a conversation or leaving the grocery store without purchasing your food, give yourself space to honestly name what’s coming up for you
2. Pay attention to what’s up for you to heal—yes, the situation may suck, it may not be fun to deal with, you may be disappointed or overwhelmed, and you may *really* want the other person to change, but if there’s a bee in your bonnet and you’re not enjoying whatever’s going on, then something’s up for YOU to heal
3. Go into awareness—see the situation from the bigger picture and stop fighting reality by thinking it *should* look different than it does
4. Lean in and do your work to heal it—release the charged emotions and bring compassion, understanding, and love to whatever’s coming up (and if you can’t do that for yourself, check out my free ebook, What Is The Work and How Do You Do It?)
5. Remember, knowing better doesn’t always mean doing better, so keep digging in and releasing those charged emotions—you can’t have peace now until you make peace with your past)

So, even when your mother-in-law is a nitpicking asshole about your furniture, the meals you cook, and how much screen time your kids get in a day, if you’re bothered by her, that means it’s time for YOU to do YOUR work. 

You don’t have to let her opinions run your life or take your emotions off the cliff. 

She’s really just showing you all the ways she judges herself—and giving you a gift by showing you what’s up for you to heal. 

Rita ❤️

P.S. When you’re triggered, it’s not always easy to figure out what’s coming up for you to heal. In fact, it’s often easier to make the other person wrong for being an asshole. 

And they might have been an asshole, but because you teach people how to treat you (and you can’t control them anyway), if you want a totally new experience with your life and relationships, doing your work IS the new way. 

Join The Essentials for the safe space you need to unpack your triggers, clear the charged emotions keeping you held in pain and struggle, and finally, finally, finally change your life for the better.